My attempts at a tribute to a man I love a whole lot...

For those of you that may or may not know, my grandpa, Opi, has been in and out of the hospital. My mom called me this afternoon to tell me he was back in the hospital and was being transferred by ambulance from the hospital in Newberg to OHSU... Apparently its really not good this time. When she called I was driving to a park to go read for a while... I ended up just writing. It sucks to not be there with my family but writing always helps me... and wanted to share what I wrote in my journal with all of you:


"Mom just called. Opi is currently en route from the Newberg hospital to OHSU. I have a sinking pit in my stomach thinking that this is really it. And ya know, I can't help but run through in my head thoughts of how I could have loved better, laughed harder or spent more time with him. I know he's still alive and he could live for months more, but it just seems like this is it, and I need to prepare myself for that... but for some reason, I don't think anyone is ever prepared for things like this.

My Opi is an incredible man. He loves his wife, his family and his God with everything that is inside of him. And it's so hard for me to think that one of the strongest men I know is sitting in a hospital room super, super weak. And I can't kick the desire to be there, right by his side with everyone else in my family. God why have you stripped me of everything I know and everyone close and put me here in Boise?

When I think about my Opi, I think about a man who has given unconditionally and selflessly to his family. He is a man who does not always verbalize his thoughts but displays his love and his pride for you by the look on his face. Since his hearing has gotten increasingly worse, it is hard for him to be around the big group at family parties. So he always finds a comfy chair and just watches oer all of us. Some of my favorite moments come when I would go and just sit next to him. He loves just being with you. He always asks me about my life and he is so proud of what I have accomplished and continue to accomplish.

Man, I miss my family."

Ya know, we never know when or how we will lose the people we love. And we are never, ever prepared for it either. And I don't know how many times I'm going to need to learn this lesson until I get it. But it would be my hope that I can learn to take full advantage of every moment I have to love on people.